anger

hey all you dudes and dudetts. its mikelle here.
so things have been a little wierd around here. so that girl that my dad is dating, well they are getting pretty flippen serious, and it has been extremely wierd because she has been practically living here! well... let me explain, so my grandma usually whatches the sib's during the day. but last week, she went on a vacation, jess, [dad's girlfriend] whatched the sib's.aka siblings.
so on sunday, my dad brought me into his office, and told me that he is going ring shopping!!!
HE IS GOING TO PROPOSE!!!!!!!!! HOLY SHIRMP!!!
my jaw dropped.
so because of this, he said that she is going to be whatching us during the day, so we can get used to her "motheringness"
nobody else in the world knows about this yet. all of the kids think that it is because dear old gram gram cant do it anymore.
it really pisses me off!
now dont get me wrong. i love jess. but i dont think im ready for this yet!!!
i mean, ever since he told me, i dont see them the same anymore. i see them, as my wierd stupid not-at-all put together family!!!
i dont even like her two daughters. of course i pretend to like them, but i really dont!
they are annoying stupid kids!!!
i hate living here! im so sick of being ignored.
yep.
while dad is off making out with jess, he doesnt even realize the damage he is causing to my little broken heart.
im just shoved aside like a broken lamp. and my friends are off having the time of there lives with there perfect little families.
it makes me furious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i want to be noticed!!! i want to be treated like his daughter. not just a burden. im not just a broken lamp!!!
why cant he get that.
i have had the hardest life, and he doesnt even care. he cares more about his stupid girlfriend, than his daughter that actually NEEDS his love, attention, and devotion.
he doesnt even care or even know how bad he is hurting me!!!
grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrh.
those two stupid girls!!! i hate um!!! they are whiny, crying babies!!!
and as for jess, she is cool, but she is always around my stupid retarted father.
i want to move out!!!
if any of you have a place i can stay, please call!!! i just cant help but be angry!!!
i know that there isnt really anything to be angry about, but... just... grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrh!
everything is just crashing down on me, and i cant stop them from coming.

well anyway, on that happy note...
that is all from me for a while
love/mikelle